hen in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands which have connected them with a
VOIP (internet phone) and to assume among the powers of the earth, the station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to cancel the service.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, Lingo, a VoIP (
Voice over IP) provider in the
United States owned by
Primus Telecom a
telecommunications provider which went bankrupt on March 16, 2009, has terrible company policies, and chooses to punish those who decide terminate their services.
We the People of the St. Louis Mennonite Voluntary Service unit, in order to reduce costs, to eliminate an underutilized service, and focus on a bold new future of using
Google Voice (hey if they are going to take over the world at least they organized) establish that it was necessary to cancel our Lingo account.
Phone companies are instituted among Men and Women, deriving their just powers from the consent of their customers — That whenever any telecommunication company becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the St. Louis MVS Unit to alter or to abolish it.
The history of Lingo's customer service is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over customers. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. Lingo's
tyrannical and
oppressive customer service is
egregious and well
documented.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: we have tried to cancel our service but could not do so online, experienced long delays and disconnections while trying to cancel our service over the phone. When we reached the Billing Department they too have been deaf to the voice of justice and simply transfered us to the Cancellation Department where we were subjected to further delays and
swing music. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of St. Louis Mennonite Voluntary Servic solemnly publish and declare, That this unit is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent from Lingo, that we are Absolved from all Allegiance to Lingo, and that all telecommunication connections between us and Lingo, is and ought to be totally dissolved. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
-The St. Louis Mennonite Voluntary Service Unit
Okay so, perhaps we
plagiarized a bit, so here's what we actually sent them. In our attempts to have our service canceled we forced to listen to swing music and we were hung up on several times but hey maybe it wasn't their fault. Maybe the phone company just had a connection problem. Oh wait they are the phone company. We did eventually get our service canceled but unfortunately, we had already made the decision to publicly badmouth this company.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I was not pleased with the Lingo cancellation process. I had significant delays while I was waiting to speak to Lingo representatives and I was hung up on two times. Furthermore, it was disappointing to not have the option of canceling online.
I would like to commend the people who were answering the phones as when I actually was able to speak with representatives, they were courteous and handled my misplaced anger professionally. My dissatisfaction is with the company policies that discourage helping customers that are leaving your service. I can assure you that I will never consider using your products again and I will do my best to ensure that I tell as many people as possible about my dissatisfaction with your company.
Sincerely,
Steve Eigsti
Brett Hull is St. Louis hockey legend who was honored with much clapping, cheering, and yelling of "lace them up Brett we need you," a phrase that becomes less humorous each time it is yelled from a distance where said retired hockey can't possibly hear you. Indeed on Tuesday, Blues fans united to celebrate the golden era of Brett Hull hockey. I don't remember a lot about Brett's Hockey career but I do remember that if he was at his best when he skated down the edge of the rink, made a sharp turn slightly before the red line, hit the turbo, held the shoot button as his momentum carried him across the front of the goal, then released before the goalie could recover. No one could do that like Brett.
Dave Herholtz, member of St. Louis Mennonite Fellowship and MVS Support Committee member, may be the world's greatest lasagna maker. He and his wife Quincy recently invited the MVS'ers over for supper last Saturday. As we (well the half of our unit who aren't vegetarians) were about to dig in Dave casually mentions that this is the first lasagna he's ever made. As we ate it became apparent that Dave had natural ability, some latent skill in the art of pasta creation that was just waiting to be tapped. Friends, I tell you the truth there is no way someone makes a lasagna that tasty on the first try unless they are a prodigy. I'm still at a loss for how he found the perfect blend of cheeses to accompany the ideally seasoned beef and still managed to have the pasta impeccably cooked. At a certain point though my head was spinning, I had to stop and accept that, though it defied logic, I was in the presence of a lasagna making legend who had yet to grasp his own genius. Will he continue to be a dominate creator of lasagna or will he like many other prodigies be unable to live up to the lofty expectations that his early work created? Only time will tell and we as MVS'ers only hope we will be invited back to their household to find out.
